Getting Everyone On The Same Page, How Mediation Can Help

The Problem with Solving Problems

It isn’t surprising that when a group of people is asked to solve a problem, they often struggle to come up with one agreed-upon solution. Psychologists have been studying the difficulty of groups working together and interacting since the early 1800’s.

The first group experience most people have is being part of a family. Psychologist Charles Cooley identified that individuals are born into their first primary group. Most would think that over the years, a family group would start to run like a fine-tuned machine. That, when faced with a challenge, everyone would come together, identify the problem, formulate a plan of action, and execute! Smooth sailing, right? Unfortunately, not so much.

One of the biggest challenges families face is deciding how to care for a loved one. Having to solve a problem that involves significant financial impacts, the sacrifice of personal time on top of daily demands, the emotions of accepting a new reality about a parent’s health situation, and the pressure of needing a quick decision, can create stressful dynamics that most families struggle to resolve.

Families Under Pressure

Faced with high emotions, fueled by personal opinions, and overwhelmed with trying to solve a problem with limited resources or knowledge, families can get stuck without making progress towards finding solutions. It is very common for families to have hours of conversations that fail to generate a clear plan of how to best care for the ones they love. In many situations, relationships start to deteriorate, rifts develop between family members, and the person who is supposed to be cared for becomes overly stressed as they watch their family deteriorate. The best solution to help move a family forward in the process is to enlist the services of a trained mediator.

Mediator to the Rescue

The job of a mediator is to work as a neutral third party to help ease family tensions, listen to everyone’s concerns, hash out disagreements and misunderstandings, and help your family make decisions that are acceptable to everyone. Good mediators can also assist in identifying other professionals such as an estate attorney, geriatric care manager, and other health care professionals who can support family members in the decision-making process. It is important to find a skilled mediator who has  advanced mediation training such as a trained attorney, clinical social worker or professional clinician.

Don’t let the unknowns of mediation stop you from taking care of your family as you take care of the one you love. Mediation participation is voluntary and the sessions are confidential. Mediations can be a single meeting for a few hours, or several meetings over a specific period of time, depending on the complexity of your issues. A good mediator will happily explain the process before creating an approach that works for you. Utilizing technology such as video or teleconferencing allows family members to participate regardless of where they live, and can bring everyone together to the decision-making table.

Mediation will help you achieve the goals of coming to a mutual agreement, keeping family relationships intact, and putting together the best care plan possible that everyone can stick to. Studies have shown that consensual agreements constructed through mediation have a compliance rate of up to 85% by all members. Using a skilled mediator can significantly increase your chance of successfully executing a plan of care for someone you love, by getting everyone on the same page.